In the Internet age, stories of “real life” horror abound. Anyone brave enough to plumb the depths of Reddit can find endless testimonials of creepy and outright terrifying events that have seemingly befallen everyone to ever use the Web. Two sentence stories. It's still short, so readers get through the submissions really fast, yet it's vague enough to give the writers space to work with. It turns out, quite a few Internet users have dark thoughts and the ability to express them. That or Stephen King made a lot of Reddit accounts.

I guess I'll jump on the Vegas hooker story bandwagon along with Grrouchie, Rob, and Lightning. I'll start with the first story that I already shared in the comments section of Rob's first Vegas hooker story.

'Most Horrifying thing I've ever seen' A 4-year-old, Teghan Skiba, was terrorized, tortured and tormented for 10 days in a shed behind her home by her mom's boyfriend, Jonathan Douglas Richardson. Here's something to chill to after the Area 51 raid. I hope you've all got your aliens to listen with you. CREEPYPASTA STORIES- 0:00 'My girlfriend started.

I had been to Vegas probably half a dozen times and had seen a few ladies I thought might have been 'working girls,' but I'd never been approached directly by one until my visit in July of 2008. On that trip I got approached three different times. I wasn't sure if I just looked more desperate for female attention or if the failing Vegas economy had forced them to get more aggressive. The truth was probably a little of both.
It was a Wednesday night and I had had a pretty successful day at the poker tables by my low-roller standards pocketing just shy of $700 for the day. It was about 3:00 in the morning as I decided to head back to my room at the Flamingo from Planet Hollywood. I decided to drop $100 in a dollar Wheel of Fortune slot to see if I could get lucky. (The Wheel of Fortune slots are my one weakness when it comes to the arcade games in Sin City.) I also wanted to rack up a few points just to see if I could get any room offers from the P-Ho for my next trip to Vegas.
I had slowly leaked away about half of my $100 when a fairly attractive blonde wandered past and casually asked if I was having any luck. I didn't really know how to answer since I had won earlier at poker, but was losing at the slot machine so I just shrugged and said I was doing okay. I didn't realize she was setting up a business proposition until her follow up question, 'Do you want any company tonight?' Ohhhhhhhh...I see what's happening here.
Maybe I'm just naive, but I really didn't get what was happening when she first stopped to chat. I mean, any of you that have been to Vegas know that it's really not unusual for a complete stranger to high five you or raise their glass and shout 'PARTY!' as you pass them. I just thought it was another friendly tourist. I suppose the time of the morning probably should have clued me in.
I responded to her with a very polite, and probably a little timid, 'No, thank you.' She just patted/rubbed me on my shoulder and repeated back to me, 'No, thank you,' in a sort of 'Aww wasn't that sweet' kind of way and moved along.

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My second ever hooker encounter happened right after that on the walk back to the Flamingo. A nice looking young black girl in a really nice white Lexus was sitting at a red light waiting to pull out of the Paris driveway onto Las Vegas Boulevard. As I neared her car to walk in front of her she rolled her window down and pretty much shouted at me, 'Hey, baby, you looking for some company tonight?' I completely ignored her and kept walking. She proceeded to roll her passenger side window down and continued trying to capture my attention. I never broke stride. By now her light had turned green and the cars behind her were honking their horns. She yelled out the window at them, 'SHUT THE F*&# UP!!!'
She then pulled onto LVB and then turned right into the Bally's driveway right in front of me and continued her tirade. At this point she was clearly pissed that I was ignoring her and started yelling things like, 'Hey! I'm talking to you! Hey! Don't ignore me!' I was honestly a little shaken by the whole thing, but just kept right on walking. Then to add to my anxiousness there was a group of about four very scary looking dudes standing on the walkway over Flamingo Rd. All I could think as I approached them was that I had almost $1,500 in my pocket! I strode past them and was super relieved to see a Bill's security guard and LVPD officer standing and chatting at the bottom of the stairs on the Bill's side of the street.
The third encounter wasn't a good story. She offered. I declined. That was it.20:59
23 Jun

(Photo: Fortune.com)

Poker players are well-known for being a little crazy. Most people think it is just money they are crazy with but I think we will all admit the lifestyle and stories are outstanding. I have been entertaining myself reading some of the funniest poker stories posted online and remembering some of my own experiences. I trust and I hope that these stories are honest and I think they are. I just hope I do them justice because there is limited space.

Here are my favorite funny poker stories. The last one is my own, which happened to me some years ago and was so funny I’ve never forgotten it and I am sure I never will.

For FedEx Sake!

This one is funny to me and I laughed when I read it. It is a bit of the butterfly effect, and when you ponder it, you will find your mind realizing how crazy life can be. Here goes. In 1973, FedEx was not the multi-billion dollar company it is today. It was in deep trouble, and the company was down to its final $5,000 in the bank with a $24,000 fuel bill staring owner Fred Smith in the face. Fred decided to go down in style, heading to Vegas with his final $5,000 and gambling it (as you do!). He hit a timely run of cards, turning $5,000 into $27,000 and saving the company. Over 40 years later, FedEx has grown into the huge company it is today, giving Fred a personal net worth of over $2 billion. Just think about that for a moment! I wonder if he tipped the dealer that night?

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Know Your Left From Your Right

In a small buy-in tournament in the USA, a young man was holding a short stack and staring elimination in the face. He had his hole cards in one hand and his few remaining chips in the other. He looks at his cards and stops to think for a moment and then throws his chips into the middle announcing “fold” as he does so. The dealer says “But you threw your chips into the pot?” to which the player sits for a moment then swears. It transpires he had forgotten which hand his chips were in and meant to throw away his other hand (his hole cards) rather than his last few chips. Unfortunately the poker Gods did not spare him and he busted out of the tournament. At least it appears he would have made a good decision to fold before the bad decision to “muck” his chips!

Celebrate Wisely

This story is funny, but only because it didn’t happen to me! User Laez posted this on Reddit and it was so funny I actually laughed out loud, rather than just “internet laughing”, which for me is just to smile. Over to Laez.

“A friend of mine had been running pretty bad and was on his last $300 at 1/2. He runs it up to about $800. He's feeling lucky so he moves to 2/5 with $500 with $300 to retreat to 1/2 if it doesn't work out. . Shorty after getting a seat he finds himself with KK. He limp 3 bets. Gets 4 bet shoved on by another limper and the original raiser calls. He tanks forever. Says he knows one of them has AA. Calls anyway. Both have AA. He binks a K on the flop. Triples up.

He is super stoked. Decides to celebrate by going to his favorite hooker who lives in another state an hour away. So after celebrating his luck with this hooker she asks him for a ride to another motel. This next motel is a police sting. They arrest him. Then he finds out that the hooker told them that he was her pimp. She said that he beats her, takes her money and that he is the one that posts the ads on Craigslist. They charge him with dozens of charges and tell him he could get 15 years in prison. He uses his phone call to call the poker room. We go bail him out the next day. When he comes out he says thanks but nothing else. Obviously didn't sleep that night. It's quiet in the car for like 15 minutes. And then out of nowhere he says. 'I should have folded those Kings.';

Tremendous. He should definitely have folded those kings but the true humor in this story is that he is blissfully unaware of the odd activities he undertook that led to him being arrested. I hope the hooker in question is no longer his favorite, I’m not sure she deserves it anymore.

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Never Teach People to Play Poker

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This story happened to me and is 100% true. My friend knew of my interest in poker and had railed me one evening when I had done quite well in a low stakes MTT and had won $50. He thought this was fantastic and said he had always fancied learning to play poker and begged me to teach him. I eventually agreed and as I have a set of chips and cards we set about playing one evening. After a painful hour or two teaching him the rules he still didn’t seem to get it so we began to play a little heads up with a view of learning as we encountered different spots. It was not difficult to beat him at first as he called everything and if I had a hand I was usually ahead.

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Then suddenly we got to the flop and he raises instead of calling. “You’re raising?” I said, impressed he remembered how to do it. “Yes.” he said, looking rather excited. “We need to work on your poker face.” I said. We got to showdown. I had two pair and pure morbid curiosity had gotten me this far as he had bet every street. I showed my two pair. “Can you beat this?” I asked? “Yes.” He said, turning over his cards. “A red flush.” “A what?” I said. “A red flush.” He said, like I was the fool. And there it was. Three hearts and two diamonds. “Nice hand.” I said. He looked so happy I couldn’t break it to him, but we have a laugh about it now. He turned out to be a pretty good poker player once he got to grips with the game. Don’t forget, we all start somewhere!